Review: Retro

Retrocover Horror films comes in all sizes and shapes; there are studio films, B-movies, low budget independents, and super-low budget amateur films. And then there is Retro, filmed with whatever the creators could find for free.

To be fair, the Halloween monster masks used in Retro may have cost some money, perhaps 200 dollars alltogether, but generally, Retro looks, feels and plays as something a group of 14-year-olds strung together during two weekends, using money from waffle sales as production funds. I mean that literally! That’s how “no budget” this film is. That isn’t necessarily a drawback, since good movies have been made for less, but it does represent the film quite well.

But first, let’s see if there is a story here. Set sometime in the 80s, two young male slackers hang around, talking about horror films and comic books. One of them needs a new VCR, and the other guy has an uncle that sells stolen goods for a living. They decide to visit the uncle, and takes a shortcut through an old prison graveyard. What they don’t know is that some time before, a dubious doctor/researcher has dumped chemical waste near the graveyard, waste that now has re-animated the buried corpses. Zombies rise from their graves, and attack the two slackers and a few other people who hide in the uncle’s remote forest house.

That could have been the story in any 80s zombie film, by the way, but no amount of homages or references to real movies can save this mess. There is not one thing about the film that is actually any good, quality-wise. And I’ve even given the film some slack for its amateur status with that comment. When that fact has been established, it’s no surprise that the film even lacks the one thing that usually saves no-budget films; it starts with b and ends with oobs. I guess it would be too embarrassing for the one girl that is in the film to show some skin, since the whole film is made by friends and family, and will probably only be watched by the same. A bit like Tuddel, however miles below The thrill of a kill, if you want to compare this film to other super-low-budget films.

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Now, let me be fair; I don’t require films to be big budgeted to enjoy them. Retro is definitely a case of so bad it’s good, in the sense that you get plenty of (involuntary) laughs and opportunities for fault spotting. Budding film-makers should watch this movie so they can learn from it (you know what I mean….) and the rest of us can at least enjoy the “talents” of the cast and crew.

Not rated.

Directed by Aleksander Gustafsson.

Norway, 2011.

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